Da Blog

Why?

2008-07-08T21:48:00.000-07:00

Why..its a question i seem to always be asking myself, but never get any answers. Things in my life havent been good for a long while. Money is usually the copret of these issues. ever since i was in middle school i can remember having worries of adult things such as mortgages and car notes. Moms tried hard not to show it but we were clearly having issues. and stupid boyfriends of hers didnt make the situation any better. I asked why we had to move from the house i loved and why he had to come with us and why i had to live an hour away from my friends and everything i knew. Why i couldnt buy the jordans my friends had and why i couldnt have that northface coat. Why my brother had everything he wanted and all i could do is dream. Why he saw his father every fuckin day of his life and i only heard "dads" voice when i was in trouble. Why i had to learn the real meaing of christmas that morning their was nothing under the tree. Why that same day i had to go to my brothers and watch them open up tons of shit they dnt even appreciate. Why i had to learn to appreciate things i had because i got nothing else. Why i woke up in that hotel and my mother wasent their. Why i woke up every morning and "he" was always their. Why i had to get a job when i was barely 15 and still didnt have any money. Why do i have 2 jobs now and still have no money. Why everytime i get money sumthing pops up. Why i buy a car and it turns out to be a piece of shit. Why my mom buys a car and it turns out to be a piece of shit. Why my friends and brothers buy cars and they have no probs. Why i no longer have to worry about car notes and mortgages but now have to pay for them and Why i have to write this to feel better. Why god is putting me through this. Why...Why..Why theirs so many more reasons to ask why..but i get no answer. So why do i ask why.....

Friends n Fam

2008-05-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

Friends n Fam, what to say, what to say. Seems like every min theirs one going away. away from you nd everything you had. Like wat u did was a waste, all the gud nd the bad. For me fam is the same way to, have 3 brothers..none of em saw me graduate high school. Throughout the huge crowd, had 3 ppl that were their for me...now thats wat i call family. Looked left, then right....even up nd down. only to relize no other family was around. Thats when it hit me, my friends were my family. Then it also hit.....that could never be. A best friend and a brother are 2 differnt things..both have love with different meanings. a best friends love is all i've had, not saying its bad or that it makes me mad, jus miss a brothers love...just a tad. the kinda love i kno cant be taken away, the kind that does more then listen, thats the kinda love im missin. Mayb one day, ill be able to say....Hey thats my brother and he loves me, were one tight family. he, she , them, or they couldnt tear us apart. loves to strong for us to depart. Family is wat we would always be, no matter wat fight put us against each other, n the end u'd always be my brother. same goes for a mother, and a father to.......Friends n fam, what to say what to say

Trials and Tribulations

2008-05-22T23:20:00.000-07:00

Life...wat more can i say. That simple word that means so much, yet i kno so little about it. i live it? Its confusing and the only thing promised in life is death. Thats all i truely no about life. Nd everyday i wake up to this thing called life. Life for me has always seemed harder then the guy sittin next to me. But i guess thats an unfair thing to say, seeing as i kno nothing about their life. Let me switch the topic up a lil bit. Ever had that feeling that everything in life is against you? Like nothing can go right...sure we've all been there. I seem to get to that point alot..and all the advice is the same "it could always be worse", "lifes a bitch", "ppl have it worse then you","its all worth it to walk thru those heavenly gates". These r all things i hear and say when sumones comes to me for aid. Nd tho they may all be true, sumtimes i feel theirs sumthing else. Like were being tested. Nd those who cant hang with the trials and tribulations of life get punished and arent allowed the glory we see. i.e. those who rob in times of hunger or need. Those who kill in times of hate or selfisness. Nd those who end their own lives due to stress and pain. most people in these examples are sent to prison or damned in hell(in my religion atleast) To me, these are the ppl who didnt pass the test. Nd the ones who do are greeted with riches beyond imagine n heaven when their time comes. I once heard "the greatest gift we have in life is choice" this makes me wonder...mayb life is just a big test. A test given to us from above nd were graded on judgement day. Those who failed are sent to hell for punishment nd those who pass are sent to heaven to reep the benifits....Just a thought on life, mayb instead of tryna figure it out ill jus live it and see what happens.

Long time

2008-04-02T22:31:00.000-07:00

Sooo, havent been on here in awhile. well alots happened since my last blog. My world is upside down once again( or mayb its right side up this time?) well u get the point. fighting with friends, confused over girls, school issues nd the fact that i dnt kno WAT IMA DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!! hmmm lets start with friends. with friends like mine theirs no need for enemys(i kno i kno cliche but its true) never kno wats true n e more or wats gonna stay a secret and wat wont. always the butt of chokes(literally) and pretty tired of it. I've ended a friendship or 2 and its def been for the best. but i dnt think n e more of that for awhile. i've learned not to get so close n e more. sooooo wats next. girlssss. gosh im so confused, i like em one min and the next i dnt. so many mixed signals....guess im giving them myself. o well enough of that. ummmmm school. school school school. its funny, i had a gud friend the beggining of class and wasnt friends with this one person. Next im gud friends with the one i wasent friends with and dnt talk to the one i was gud friends with n e more. haha i kno confusing and oooo the irony. guess thats life, never kno wats gonna happen. well the whole WAT IME DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE thing will have to wait for later. kinda tired.....thnx for reading :)

Lies&Deceit...

2007-10-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

Lies and deceit, its all around. Those u luv and think they feel the same, turn around and put u to shame. Its a sad cycle of life, BUT WITH IT COMES GUD....even after the pain and strife. the gud, the bad, and the times inbetween...Its the ones u thought never could, are capable of being the most mean. I guess its cuz u never thought u'd see the day. Ur best friend, or Baby treats u the wrong way. U beat urself up, asking y...but y try u never get the answer u want..and when u do... Its jus them being sly. Sneaking their way back in, to repeat the cycle u've been goin thru since way back when... But y do we let this happen? its because we put way to much trust in the ones we call friends. Its like my mom always said, ull have only enough "best friends" Thruout ur life to count on one hand. I thought i was beating the odds, but that quickly came to an end. From now on, choose wisely who u call "friend" Not cuz u hung out wit them, days on end...but because they were their for u, from the beginning to end.

you

2007-10-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

YOU, i cant YOU outa my mind...i dnt even kno YOU, yet my mind wont leave YOU alone. YOU, do you even kno YOU've been on my mind? Walking in the hallways, i have to make a U because YOU decided to grace me with YOUR elegance once again. because of YOU i think to myself, do I even have a chance, Why do I try, Wat am I thinking...But YOU dnt even kno?? Or do YOU?

Im not OBSESSED lol, jus doin sum creative writing...bored much, but n e ways...WEEKENDS HERE!!!! o yea, more work and school work!!! lol, college life hasent gotten fun yet, but o well..work now play later right? so how bout me nd YOU! lol luv peace nd soul yall!!

Dad

2007-10-03T19:44:00.001-07:00

To my father, the best dad i could ever ask for...but i didnt relize until now. U tought me so much, even tho u were so far away. Always i wondered, why couldnt i have a dad like normal kids. Y couldnt u be around to teach me how to be a man, and help me thru life. But even tho u were always outa sight, u were still never outa reach. U tought me so many things, in such a short period of time. U tought me how to be a man and so much more. Even tho at times im hard headed and i give u nd mom a hard time, i payed attention and i learned. Im sry for ever doubting u...and being upset becuase u werent their. When truely u were, and i thank u for that. Thruought ur weird teachings, and mini sayings...I Jamall Osman became a man...a wise man with far more knowledge and wisdom then a person my age. Again, thnk u nd im sry for not being their when i should have been. I luv u dad, and i will make u proud...I promise...

Life(i kno i get so off topic lol my bad)

2007-10-03T14:04:00.001-07:00

Life...wat a mysterious thing. We were born into this life, with no map, no instructions, no guide. left to figure it out on our own. Everyone goes thru the same things, pain, sadness, happiness, sorrow, nd the list goes on. But everyone makes different choices. Is that wat life is, different choices? Or is it just a game we play, if u end up rich u win, poor u loose. Naw that cant be it, life is a beatiful thing, others choose to work thru it, sum choose to play thru it. Sum even waste their life, tryna figure out wat it is. Everyone is so worried about being themselves, nd not being "fake", everyone wants to be "real" and have tons of "money". Wat is being "real" nd wats "money" n e ways. In this society money is everything, u cant do n e thing without money. But yet, u Can...u werent born with money and ur not gonna die with money. So wats the importance of money, Sure u gotta by food and clothes and medicine..the whole nine. But why money. The things we really need dnt cost n e thing, Yet they put a price on it. Like water, who gave n e one the right to "sell" water. I was at the gas station yesterday and "air" was 75 cents. Its pretty ridiculous if u think about it. U gotta buy meat and milk. Who gave n e one the right to take over nd start selling things besides actual labor. With our society the rich get richer the poor get poorer. Like for instance take credit, if u have high credit, things are cheaper, if u have low credit, things are more expensive. So basically if u have money its cheaper and if u dnt its more expensive?? does that sound right to u. And how is it possible that people live in huge mansions with acres nd everything, and their are many poeple who dnt even have a place to call home. Again ppl, wat is money. a piece of green paper, thats lets our society kno, whos important or not. If u have money ur important, if u dnt ur nothing. This little piece of paper, with no actual value...sets ur future, Its so powerful, yet its nothing. It can start wars, end friendships, start fights, and even death. People actually kill one another for this green paper. This paper makes the world go round for many, but not for me. I for one, am not gonna let this thing we call money run my life. Nd i hope u dnt waste ur life, chasing "money" when in the end, it has absolutly no value.

Hola

2007-10-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

Hola mi companero's. Today was a gud day, stress filled but gud. Chilled wit sum cool ppl, applied at sum colleges(sum real schools, mc is garbage) nd possibly got a new job. time to save up for a car, nd dem im out. luv peace and soul!!!!!!!!!

Jamall E. A. Osman

2007-09-30T21:05:00.000-07:00

Ever been in a war.. i have, a war with myself. My name is Jamall Eugene Ahmed Osman, and after 17 years of life....thats all i kno. I thought i knew myself, all i knew was the jamall u see. Not the real jamall Osman thats fighting, nd yet idk where its coming from. The left the right, im being ambushed and i cant do anything about it. I have no idea wats going on, im doin things id never do, nd say. Im running with nowhere to go. I always thought, im jamall, the funny, outgoing, crazy, laid back, forgiving, smart, hard headed, loveing, outspoken dude. But for sum reason its all a blur. Its like im going blind in a world full of colors. I thought id be moving ahead this time in my life, but im going back, im in reverse nd I can no longer fight it. I've lost, nd theirs no comeback. Im falling, but yet theirs no stop. Im calling, but yet theirs no answer. Or is their nd im jus to wrapped up i dnt relize. My name is Jamall Eugene Ahmed Osman....Thats all i kno

ACCOMPLISHED

2007-08-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

Well, its been almost a week, nd i kno u guys r jus dieing to kno wat i've been doing(yea right) lol. well nothin really. I went to work, nothin new their. Got a car for a couple of days(BOOST!) Chilled wit dis gangsta baby named javier(Energy Ball) lol he's da coolest kid ever(besides MINI MIKE!!!) Ate at potbellys, thnx to drea!!(not bad nd pretty cheap). WENT TO OCEAN CITY!!!!! pretty cool trip. Drivin their nd back is a bitch. But it was worth it. Half naked women everywhere, da beach, da boardwalk. Couldnt push much on the way their cuz one of my other friends drivin their, had this old beat up van. lol but it made it their and back(miracle). I ate at this nasty asian buffet the next day(today) nd helped mike learn how to parrallel park. Overall a pretty gud week. Well im out PeAcE Yall

R.I.P Jeremy aka Black and Justin Herring

2007-07-30T23:31:00.000-07:00

http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/4857/j3cy1.gif
Wow wat a day. Slept in and woke up to a call from a friend(daniel). Told me that a school friend of ours had died, along with his older brother. Jeremy had amazing talent on the court and a funny guy to hang around. His brother i didnt kno much. I jus saw him around alot, i believe he was a gud b-ball player as well. I didnt believe it until later..talkin to more friends and watchin the news. They were shot to death by their father. Idk how sumone can be so selfish as to take away sumones life, even worse ur own flesh and blood. I didnt hit me for awhile that he was accually gone. We werent to close, but i've known him most my life(since elementry). i have sum memories, which im goin to cherish. My prayers go out to him and his brother, as well as his family and friends. It was their time. Though it seems wrong to us, god has a reason for everything. Rest In Peace Jeremy(black) and Justin Herring.

Whoa

2007-07-30T04:46:00.000-07:00

today hmmmmmm, well it started around 5 pm lol best sleep ever. it was 2 of my friends b-day so we chilled. almost got in an accident with a friend(scary much). chilled at kikies house(her b-day) ate sum gud ass cake. Went bowlin wit diana(hey b-day to) nd sum friends(fam accually). had a lil fam meetin, kinda crappy(nothin got resolved) but atleast we all chilled. Chilled with one of my friends(cesar) after the longest time. Relized alot tonight, sum good nd sum bad. O well...thats life. Ate at ihop! lol at like 4 in da mornin. Always fun their. expensive but fun, well thats it pretty much. until next time asta manana!!! luv peace and souuuul

Saturday

2007-07-28T22:18:00.001-07:00

well lets see, went to work in da morning. of course i was late(lol). work sucked...like usual. Went home, ate sum chicken nd went online like usual. My good friend andy, says hes got a car. Well im thinkin a nice ass car for sum reason. NOPE!! a loud old ass van lmao. it was cool tho rode around. Got an idea to throw a whip cream pie n a friends face. That friend turned out to be joseph(cool white guy). He was blown(it was funny as hell) lol. its true PayBack is a bitch. As i was gettin out the van BAM a tub of buffalo sauce all over my head. BLOWN!!!!!!!! idk i think the buffalo sauce was OD but o well i can take a joke. Came home to a thunderstorm and my moms old fashioned...so everythin was turned off. one lil lightning and its "turn the tv off!!!!" lol. Well ya thats pretty much it, PEAcE!!

WHOO HOO

2007-07-27T23:47:00.000-07:00

ehh where to start. woke up late, asked bro for a ride to work. he not a fan of bein late so i had to walk up da street to meet him. everythin was gud. Besides the fact it was rainin. Went to work, relized i didnt have to work. luckily sumone aint show up so i was gud. parents are assholes as usual so work was a drag. until my FAM showed up nd helped me close(i luv those guys). went off to see the SIMPSONS MOVIE!!! pretty cool, basically a really long episode lol but worth it. saw the 12:30 show, got out at 2 sumthin(i'd be pissed to work at the movies and still be their at 2 in the mornin). In all it was a pretty cool day. Got to chill wit da bro some more. well its 2:50 nd i gotta wake up in 7 hours to do another 7 hour shift. Night yall PEACE nd chicken grease.

Music

2007-07-26T23:50:00.001-07:00

jus a lil taste of wat i bump to

Borin

2007-07-26T22:44:00.000-07:00

did nuthin really, had to work. Didnt want to, but my brother asked em to work for him...so i couldnt be like no. chilled wit the older brother for a bit, nd ate sum good ass ledo's pizza!!!. pretty borin day. Also blown cuz i gotta work tommorow when the simpsons movie is comin out. o well guess i'll watch it sat. PEACE yall

First POST!!!

2007-07-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

1st post, jus chillin, went bowling wit da fam. bojangled awhile wit sum friends, nd ate sum nasty chicken. jus a pretty regular day